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Download File. Contents 1 About the author of this book Emma Donoghue: 1. Download File Now. Related apps. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Leave this field empty. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. I wait till Lamp's off properly. I whisper in the dark, "All done? Silly Penis is always standing up in the morning, I push him down. When we're scrubbing hands after peeing, I sing "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands," then I can't think of another hands one, but the dickey bird one is about fingers.
Like angels with no wings. Anyway, he prayed and prayed to get out, and you know what? An angel flew down and smashed the door open. But I prefer when they're babies running around all nakedy together. There's a funny banging sound and a scrunch scrunch. Brightness is coming in Skylight, the dark snow's nearly gone. Ma's looking up too, she's got a small smile on, I think the prayer did magic.
It's gone crunchy, but it's still good. TV is Wonder Pets! I make a bow on his wire ear with the purple ribbon. I wish it was Backyardigans, I haven't met them in ages. Sundaytreat's not here yet because Old Nick didn't come last night, actually that was the best bit of my birthday. What we asked is not very exciting anyway, new pants because my black ones have holes instead of knees. I don't mind the holes but Ma says they make me look homeless, she can't explain what that is. After bath I play with the clothes.
Ma's pink skirt is a snake this morning, he's having a quarrel with my white sock. He burst by accident when I kicked him against Cabinet super fast. I wanted to ask for another instead of stupid pants. But Ma says we can make one, we scrunch up all the pages I've been practicing my writing on and fill a grocery bag and squeeze it till it's kind of ball shape, then we draw a scary face on it with three eyes.
Wordy Ball doesn't go as high as Beach Ball did but every time we catch him he makes a loud scrunch. Ma's the best at catching, only it pings her bad wrist sometimes, and I'm the best at throwing.
Because of cake for breakfast we have Sunday pancakes for lunch instead. There isn't much mix left so they're thin ones that spread out, I like that. I get to fold them up, some of them crack. There's not much jelly, so we mix water in that too. A corner of mine drips, Ma scrubs Floor with Sponge.
We move Table over to beside Bath so we can sunbathe on Rug right under Skylight where it's extra warm. God's yellow face makes red through my lids. When I open it's too bright to look.
My fingers do shadows on Rug, little squished ones. Ma is snoozing. I hear a sound so I get up not waking her. Over by Stove, a tiny scritchy scratchy sound.
An alive thing, an animal, for really real not TV. It's on Floor, eating something, maybe a crumb of pancake. It's got a tail, I think what it is is, what it is is a mouse. I go nearer and whee it's gone under Stove so I hardly saw it, I never knowed anything could go so fast. That's how to talk to a mouse, it's in Alice, only she talks about her cat Dinah by mistake and the mouse gets nervous and swims away.
I put my hands praying now, "O Mouse, come on back, please, please, please. Ma's definitely asleep. I open Refrigerator, she doesn't have much inside. Mice like cheese, but we haven't any left. I get out the bread and crumble a bit on a plate and put it down where Mouse was. I crouch down small and wait for more hours and hours. Then the wonderfulest thing, Mouse puts his mouth out, it's pointy. I nearly jump in the air but I don't, I stay extra still. He comes up to the crumbs and sniffs.
I watch his hands, his whiskers, his tail all curly. He's alive for real, he's the biggest alive thing I ever saw, millions of times bigger than the ants or Spider. Then something smashes into Stove, whaaaaaack. I scream and stand on the plate by accident, Mouse is gone, where's he gone?
Did the book break him? She's Pop-Up Airport, I look in all her pages but he's not there. The Baggage Claim is all ripped and won't stand up anymore. Ma's got a weird face. She's got BrushPan, she's sweeping up the broken bits of plate.
Now we're down to two big plates and one small, that's it--" The cook in Alice throws plates at the baby and a saucepan that almost takes off his nose. But where there's one there's ten.
Ma puts down the foil and holds me hard by my shoulders. Stealing our food, bringing in germs on their filthy paws. She shoves Stove back to Door Wall. After, we use a little bit of tape to make the Hangar page stand up better in Pop-Up Airport, but the Baggage Claim is too torn to fix. We sit curled up in Rocker and Ma reads me Dylan the Digger three times, that means she's sorry. She twists her mouth. But he said to quit bugging him, don't we have a whole shelf of them already.
Or on top of Wardrobe. It's tricky figuring out where everything's home is, Ma sometimes says we have to throw things in the trash but I usually find a spot for them. She reads me one I choose from every page. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick. I think he wanted to see if he could not burn his nightshirt.
In TV there's pajamas instead, or nighties on girls. My sleep T-shirt is my biggest, it has a hole on the shoulder that I like to put my finger in it and tickle myself when I'm switching off. Ma changed it to fit me, that's not lying, it's just pretending. Same with Jack, Jack, the piper's son, Stole a pig and away he run. It actually says Tom in the book but Jack sounds better. Stealing is when a boy takes what belongs to some boy else, because in books and TV all persons have things that belong just to them, it's complicated.
It's so we can have dinner, it's quick noodles. While they're in the hot water, Ma finds hard words to test me from the milk carton like nutritional that means food, and pasteurized that means laser guns zapped away the germs. I want more cake but Ma says beets chopped all juicy first. Then I have cake that's pretty crispy now and Ma does too, a little bit.
The pieces are like little chocolates, but I've licked them lots of times and they don't taste like anything. They stick to the board by magnetic magic. Ma likes Chess best but it aches my head. At TV time she chooses the wildlife planet, there's turtles burying their eggs in sand. When Alice gets long with eating the mushroom, the pigeon's mad because she thinks Alice is a nasty serpent trying to eat her pigeon eggs. Here come the turtle babies out of their shells, but the turtle mothers are gone already, that's weird.
I wonder if they meet sometime in the sea, the mothers and the babies, if they know each other or maybe they just swim on by. The wildlife ends too quick so I switch over to two men only wearing shorts and sneakers and dripping hot.
Ma groans as if she's hurting. Now time's up. I listen extra hard, she's talking to a man with one leg, I think he lost the other in a war. But it was labor law, not labeling. I hate when the pictures disappear and the screen's just gray again. I always want to cry but just for a second.
I get on Ma's lap in Rocker with our legs all jumbled up. We do tickles and Bouncy Bouncy and jaggedy shadows on Bed Wall. He lies down in the road pretending to be dead and Brer Fox sniffs him and says, "I better not take him home, he's too stinky. For a song I want a funny, she starts, " 'The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out--' " " 'They eat your guts like sauerkraut--,' " I sing. Ma carries me into Wardrobe, she tucks Blanket around my neck, I pull her looser again.
My fingers go choo- choo along her red line. Beep beep, that's Door. Ma jumps up and makes a sound, I think she hit her head. She shuts Wardrobe tight. The air that comes in is freezing, I think it's a bit of Outer Space, it smells yum.
Door makes his thump that means Old Nick's in now. I'm not sleepy anymore. I get up on my knees and look through the slats, but all I can see is Dresser and Bath and a curve of Table. What's he now, four? But she must hear me, because she comes close to Wardrobe and says "Jack" in a mad voice. Old Nick laughs, I didn't know he could. My chest starts to go dung dung dung. No I'm not. I wish I didn't whisper five so he heard me, I wish I didn't anything.
If you really want--" "No, forget it, you're the boss. Thanks a lot. My cake. After a minute he talks blurry. Lamp goes offsnap,that makes me jump. I don't mind dark but I don't like when it surprises me. I lie down under Blanket and I wait. When Old Nick creaks Bed, I listen and count fives on my fingers, tonight it's creaks. I always have to count till he makes that gaspy sound and stops. I don't know what would happen if I didn't count, because I always do.
What about the nights I'm asleep? I don't know, maybe Ma does the counting. After the it's all quiet. I hear the TV switch on, it's just the news planet, I see bits with tanks through the slats that's not very interesting. I put my head under Blanket. Ma and Old Nick are talking a bit but I don't listen. Ma gives me some and she's doing "Singing in the Rain" very quietly. Right doesn't taste yummy. I sit up remembering. I never got a present in my life. It was the drawing.
Ma dries her hands and comes to hold me. Take a big breath. It might be a dog turned to real, and we could call it Lucky. I bet he'd be faster than you. A dog would drive us nuts. Cooped up, with the barking, the scratching. She goes over to Cabinet to get out the cereal, she pours it in our bowls not even counting. I do a roaring lion face. I never knowed Mouse would bite my face, I thought that was only vampires. Ma drops down on Duvet and doesn't move.
After a minute I go beside her and lie down. I lift her T-shirt to have some, I have to keep stopping to wipe my nose. The left is good but there's not much. Later I try on my new jeans. They keep falling down. Ma pulls at a sticking-out thread.
Cheap piece of--" She doesn't say what. Ma gets down Kit to sew some stitches in the waist, after that my jeans stay up. We have a pretty busy morning. First we undo Pirate Ship that we made last week and turn it into Tank. Balloon is the driver, she used to be as big as Ma's head and pink and fat, now she's small like my fist only red and wrinkly.
We only blow up one when it's the first of a month, so we can't make Balloon a sister till it's April. Ma plays with Tank too but not as long. She gets sick of things fast, it's from being an adult. Monday is a laundry day, we get into Bath with socks, under-wears, my gray pants that ketchup squirted on, the sheets and dish towels, and we squish all the dirt out.
Ma hots Thermostat way up for the drying, she pulls Clothes Horse out from beside Door and stands him open and I tell him to be strong. I would love to ride him like when I was a baby but I'm so huge now I might break his back. It would be cool to sometimes go smaller again and sometimes bigger like Alice.
When we've twisted the water out of everything and hanged them up, Ma and me have to rip off our T-shirts and take turns pushing ourselves into Refrigerator to cool down.
Lunch is bean salad, my second worst favorite. After nap we do Scream every day but not Saturdays or Sundays. We clear our throats and climb up on Table to be nearer Skylight, holding hands not to fall.
We say "On your mark, get set, go," then we open wide our teeth and shout holler howl yowl shriek screech scream the loudest possible. Today I'm the most loudest ever because my lungs are stretching from being five.
Then we shush with fingers on lips. I asked Ma once what we're listening for and she said just in case, you never know. Then I do rubbings of a fork and Comb and jar lids and the sides of my jeans.
When I'm all done I roll it again so we can use it for our butts. I take a fresh bit from the next roll for a letter to Dora, I have to sharpen the red pencil with Smooth Knife. I squeeze the pencil hard because it's so short it's nearly gone, I write perfectly only sometimes my letters go back to front. I am five the day before yesterday, you can have the last bit of cake but there is no candles, bye love Jack.
It only tears a little on the of. Beaches and sea are TV but I think when we send a letter it turns them real for a bit. The poos sink and the letters float on the waves. And he'll take it to his cousin Dora--" "In his safari jeep. Zoom zoom through the jungle. Lunchtime at the latest. Ow, ow, ow. It's rainy all the afternoon, God doesn't look in at all. Dinner is fish sticks and rice, I get to squirt the lemon that's not an actual but a plastic.
We had a real lemon once but it shriveled up too fast. Ma puts a bit of her fish stick under Plant in the soil. The cartoon planet's not in evenings, maybe because it's dark and they don't have lamps there. I choose a cooking tonight, it's not like real food, they don't have any cans. The she and the he smile at each other and do a meat with a pie on top and green things around other green things in bunches. Then I switch over to the fitness planet where persons in underwear with all machines have to keep doing things over and over, I think they're locked in.
That's over soon and it's the knockerdowners, they make houses into different shapes and also millions of colors with paint, not just on a picture but all over everything. Houses are like lots of Rooms stuck together, TV persons stay in them mostly but sometimes they go in their outsides and weather happens to them. I stare at her, then I look where she's pointing. Then the dresser would be right here instead of the bed, with the TV on top of it.
The TV woman is crying because her house is yellow now. Let's switch the TV off now. I say, "Dream come to life, I have to tell you Darren it's just beyond my very wildest imaginings, the cornices--" Ma hits the off. I want to ask her what a cornices is but I think she's still cranky about moving the furniture, that was a crazy plan. In Wardrobe I should be going to sleep but I'm counting fights. That's three we had in three days, one about the candles and one about Mouse and one about Lucky.
I'd rather be four again if five means fighting all the days. Good night, Fort. Good night, Rug. And Bugs, don't forget the Bugs. Ma's sitting in her chair holding her face, that means hurting. She's looking at something on Table, two things. I jump up and grab. A remote-control jeep!
The remote is silver and a rectangle, when I wiggle one of the switches with my thumb the jeep's wheels spin zhhhhung. I don't want to eat my cereal but Ma says I can play with the jeep again right after. I eat twenty-nine of them, then I'm not hungry anymore. Ma says that's waste, so she eats the rest. I figure out to move Jeep just with Remote. The thin silver antenna, I can make it really long or really short. One switch makes Jeep go forward and backward, the other does side to side.
If I flip both the same time, Jeep gets paralyzed like by a poison dart, he says argbbbbbb. Ma says she'd better start cleaning because it's Tuesday.
Remote is the boss, he says, "Off you go now, you slowcoach Jeep. Twice around that Table leg, lickety-split. Keep those wheels turning. That naughty Jeep hides in Wardrobe but Remote finds him by magic and makes him zoom back and forward crashing into the slats. Tuesdays and Fridays always smell of vinegar. Ma's scrubbing under Table with the rag that used to be one of my diapers I wore till I was one. I bet she's wiping Spider's web away but I don't care much.
Then she picks up Vacuum who makes it all noisy dusty wab wab wab. Jeep sneaks way off in Under Bed. I play with Jeep and Remote all day except when I'm in Bath they have to park on Table not to get rusty. When we do Scream I push them up really near Skylight and Jeep vrums his wheels as loud as he can. Ma lies down again holding her teeth. Sometimes she does a big breath out out out. She grabs my hand and holds it tight.
At I say, "Ma, it's nearly six," so she gets up to make dinner but she doesn't eat any. Jeep and Remote wait in Bath because it's dry now, it's their secret cave.
Five would be fasterer but I can't manage that, my throat would shut. At the end I have the soft bread because I like to keep it in my mouth like a cushion. Hey, why do we thank Baby Jesus and not him? Her face gets flat even though I didn't say his name. He doesn't actually make the wheat grow in the field.
It's videos, I love them. Ma does the moves with me most times but not tonight. I jump on Bed and teach Jeep and Remote to shake their booties. It's Rihanna and T. And not have fans staring into their faces all the time because they're so famous. And then she says they have to go up on Shelf while I'm sleeping. God bless Jeep and Remote. We're never anywhere but here. Loved each and every part of this book.
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